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So I’m sitting at my desk feeling incredibly depressed because it’s 6:30am and my daughter is still sleeping. I know that sounds odd because Dana and I are exhausted and Jordan has been waking up between 4 and 5am for the last week, which is making it incredibly hard to get through a day.
Even so, I find myself sitting at my desk about to get in the shower and get ready for another long work day feeling incredibly sad with my eyes welling up with tears because for the last 2 weeks at 6am we’ve had daddy-Jordan time for a couple of hours where we’ll sit at the kitchen table and read Bible stories, play with her cups, talk, and giggle. We’ll go for a short walk outside, play with the kitties, and then snuggle and take a nap on the couch. Every morning was different in that we’d do different things, but every morning was the same in that we’d do those different things together.
And now I’m sitting here at my desk by myself, watching her on her monitor and she’s fast asleep, which makes me wonder if the 6am daddy-6-month-old-Jordan days are done? I know that she’ll be up early again and that we’ll have daddy-Jordan times when she’s 7 months or 8 months or 9 months or a year or whatever, but will we have anymore at this fun age of 6 months?
It’s fun because she wants to touch everything.
It’s fun because when she touches new things that have new feels to them, her eyes light up with wonder.
It’s fun because everything makes her grin.
It’s fun because she wants nothing more than to be with her mom and dad.
All of this (then) makes me wonder if I enjoyed every moment of those daddy-Jordan times or were their moments when out of extreme exhaustion I wished them away?
“Man, I wish she would sleep.”
“I wish she’d sleep for another couple of hours.”
“I wish she’d sleep so I could get some work done.”
And now that she’s sleeping and I’m getting some work done (trying, but not really), I feel a weird sadness in my heart that although I enjoyed the daddy-Jordan time these last 2 weeks that maybe I didn’t enjoy them as much as I could have or should have or intended to because I was so focused on what I wasn’t getting done or the sleep I wasn’t getting.
Here’s a lesson I’m learning from being a parent. I realize that some of you have been parents for much longer than me and that it might be weird for me to share my deep and amazing wisdom with you, but it’s a lesson I’m learning none the less … a lesson that Jesus, Himself, taught us some 2,000 years ago.
He said it best, so I’ll just quote Him …
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Do not worry about tomorrow - #JesusClick To Tweet
As I’m sitting at my desk with a tear streaming down my cheek, I’m realizing that when I’m with Jordan at 6am not getting any school work done and not getting any blog post written and not getting any podcast recorded and am worried about when I’m going to write the 2 chapters of my dissertation that are due next month, when I’m going to finish the paper for the class I took in July, when I’m going to read the 300 page book for the class I have next week, when I’m going to mow the lawn, when I’m going to weed the front beds …
… I’m realizing that when I worry about all of those things during daddy-Jordan time that daddy-Jordan time slips by all the more quickly. You see, Jesus was 100% right – the troubles of tomorrow will be there tomorrow and they should stay in tomorrow because there isn’t much room for them today where the only toil and struggle ought to be to push away the troubles of tomorrow so that we can soak in the moments that matter most today.
And so I wonder today, what moments are slipping by faster than they ought because your mind is so preoccupied with …
All the things you’re worried about?
All the things you have to do?
All the things you’re behind on?
All the things you wish you could be doing?
Friends, I beg of you – don’t wake up one day and realize that the thing you once wished away IS away and then look back on it with regret.
Let tomorrow worry about itself and pour yourself into soaking up the moments of today.
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